It seems like coffee, tea, and bathroom time helps to start the day for the average mom. However, in 2016 (where social media has taken over) a good scroll or two gets me going. Today, after dropping my son at daycare I saw this meme on Instagram:
Immediately my facial expression, mood, and anything else related to my emotions at the time changed. I was flabbergasted. Why is it the assumption (after a failed marriage, relationship, or a new journey into single motherhood) that people (mainly men) assume that the woman made a poor choice? Why do people assume that the woman should have made a “better decision”. Could it not have been that she believed she was making the best decision possible and that the man changed the course of plans? Could it not have been that he asked her for a baby while promising her marriage and all things that glitter before bailing when things got rough? We spend so much time shaming women for “things going wrong” that we forget that there are other people involved. I am certain that many men think highly of women that they have children with and are disappointed when they discover she is not the mother they hoped she would be. There are many women who proclaim to be prepared for greatness as it relates to parenthood yet do nothing of the sorts. They may not take care of their children as one would hope or they may drop them off, getting rid of them every chance they get. But do we just say you should have procreated with a woman that actually wants to be a mother? Most importantly, we forget the innocent…the children that are affected. So the next time that you look at a single mom and you have the strong urge to think that she “chose the wrong man”…don’t. Consider all of the variables that could be involved. Consider that it could be you or someone you love one day.
“Everything’s borne out of human experience, of course – rejection, humiliation, poverty, whatever. People aren’t born bad, no matter how harsh the circumstances. There is a person in there, and that person is not made of ice.”
Until next time…