Teaching Our Children to “Adult”


As I age (gracefully and beautifully might I add) I am afforded the opportunity to understand many variables about this thing called life. As a child I wished I was older so that I could do things like drive, have my own money, and own a ridiculously expensive car. The older I got the more I realized that I hate “adulting”(never mind if it’s a real word or not). Getting up early for work, being responsible, paying bills, and NOT having that car of my dreams really sucks. However, my mother equipped me with the proper tools to handle these things as needed. When we think of what it means to be a productive and fruitful adult it is often associated with external factors. Many adults I know “adult” very well as it relates to these things, but what about the internal needs?

Who teaches love, patience, kindness, compassion, empathy, forgiveness, and so much more? The more I deal with people on a daily basis the more I realize that many adults are just damaged kids in a big body. There is this point in childhood when you listen less to the people around you and you begin to focus more attention to what they actually do. Yes, we would all love it if the “do as I say and not as I do” thing actually worked but the fact of the matter is that it only takes us so far. When will we show todays youth what it means to take care of their spirits and hearts just as we ask them to take care of everything else?

If our children do not watch us hug/kiss the ones we love they will never understand how healing it can be in times of hurt. If our sons don’t watch fathers  respect their mothers they will never be able to emulate that action. When our daughters don’t see nurturing mothers who love themselves enough to demand respect they often walk the same path.

We as adults must teach our children how to “adult”. How to love someone who isn’t family just like they love their own flesh and blood. How to cry when something is hurting because internalizing pain can lead to rage. How to forgive someone who caused them turmoil because forgiveness is for self. You can forgive and forever walk away…without hatred or wishing someone ill will. How to pray. How to meditate. How to laugh. How to stand for something…

Maybe after teaching our children all aspects of adulthood we can be more proud of who they are as people and worry less about what they may one day own.


Until next time…

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