Examining the “mom” body

imageToday, I took the time to do something that I haven’t done in Lord knows how long. I looked at me. Top to bottom. In the mirror. Naked. Whew! It was overwhelming and empowering all at the same time. I smiled, I frowned, and I was close to tears. I saw me. All of me. Every freckle, roll of fat, stretch mark, mole, discoloration, and lump. I saw the body I now have after becoming a mom.

I remember the girl I was before I bore my son who wore tight dresses and very high heels. Not just because I was young and carefree. I did so because I loved the way I looked. I was 5’2, 115lbs. And although a lot of my friends/family cracked the “you’re so tiny” jokes I was okay with who I was. I remember the first time I saw me without clothes when my baby was born. Although the milk jugs looked amazing 😏 everything else hung low and jiggled. After nursing and working out like a damn nutcase I gained back a body I learned to love again.

Then, life started happening…again. The junk food, the mom schedule, the stress,  and so much more. And here I am, nearly three years later, looking at this body of mine again. Only this time I’m not sad.  I know that my blessing gave me this body. I understand that I may never have the body I had at 25,26, or 27. And I’m okay with that. Furthermore, I know what I wish to change and what I have to accept. I cannot change the stretch marks and I no longer wish I could.They are beautiful. Whether someone else believes so or not. I KNOW a couple of these lumps have to go. HAVE TO GO. So, I’m prepared to make a lifestyle change.

I’m prepared to eat healthier, exercise consistently, meditate, and pray so much more. I want a new body. A body that I can embrace everytime I look at it. That feels pretty when someone else touches it and goes along with my new positive mindset. But until I get to that point, I am loving this me. This me that carried a little boy for 9 months, rocked him to sleep, becomes his couch while he is watching television, and his bean bag while reading books. This body is a body of love. And that… I hope…will never change.

 

Until next time…

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Nikesha says:

    Boo you’re beautiful. Also making me slightly jealous. But what I realized from one of my other friends before me baby was born is that this body gave life. It may never look the way it once did, and because it gave life that’s alright. I’m nearly back to my pre-pregnancy weight but there is a baby lump that will never go and I’m learning that that’s alright. Now if I could just find a swimsuit that I love me in I’d feel 100 percent amazing

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Amen! You are beautiful too in every way. Sometimes we don’t see how amazing we are because we have changed. But like you said… Our bodies birthed beautiful children. How more amazing can they be?

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s