Recently, I ran into a friend of mine who gushed over how big my son is now. She was in awe that the little baby she used to rock in her arms was running around happily while engaging in full conversations. Before parting ways she stated, “We can’t go this long again without me seeing him. You have to bring him by the house sometimes.” There it was…again. “Bring him by…”
Since the birth of my child people have assumed that I should bring him to them for them to maintain some sort of relationship with him. It makes sense (to these people) to pack a baby bag (hoping I have enough of everything) and bring my son to them so that I have to yell “No, stop that, don’t touch that” for a several hours while trying to maintain some sort of adult conversation. It makes sense (to these people) to remove him from his comfortable environment where he can play freely and nap in his own space when necessary so that they don’t have to leave the comfort of their homes. Bring him by?
Where do people, especially people without children, get thinking that it’s your responsibility to BRING your child to them? Besides the fact that it more convenient for the childless person to bring themselves to you, it’s unrealistic to think that I will spend the bulk of my time traveling from home to home in hopes of building a thousand relationships between family/friends and my son. It’s unfair to force me to pack a bag that looks fit for a weekend trip just so that I have enough “things” to keep my infant/toddler busy.
It makes more sense for me to keep with my routine and for YOU (whoever you are) to join in with our program. Join us at the zoo, at the mall, at the beach, or at home. When he falls asleep for his nap comfortably in his own bed we can have a glass of wine and talk “grown up talk” for at least two hours without me worrying about his falling from your bed or peeing through your sheets. Just please, for the love of God, stop asking me to bring my baby to you.
Because I’m not…
Until next time