It’s that moment. The moment when your child is sleep, the house is quiet, and you’re able to melt into your bed sheets. It’s that moment that you are forced sit alone with your thoughts. You are forced to sit with the reality of your life…whatever your life is. You are reminded of the job you lost, the fact that you can’t afford groceries, the failed relationship/marriage, the recent death of a loved one, or the heart-break. It’s in that moment that the pain conceptualizes and you silently scream. Literally. You place the palm of your hand over your mouth, kick your legs violently, and soak your face with a stream of tears. You cry yourself to sleep.
Before you climb out of bed the next morning you take your pain and bury it deep… so deep. You bury the pain so that you can reach into your bag of tricks and pull out that mask of happy mom. Happy mom who fixes breakfast, gets the kids dressed, cleans the house, does the laundry, makes lunch, plays hungry hungry hippo, reads bedtime stories, deals with screaming children, pays the bills, and tucks everyone in for bed.
We are forced to be great moms even when the world is crumbling beneath our feet. Even when we were fired from work or dealing with broken hearts. We are forced to do “mommy” well regardless of the gut punches we take. We have to pretend that everything is okay when everything is not okay. And sometimes its equivalent to walking on hot coals. Sometimes we feel like we are dying inside but we still have to be full of life because someone is watching us.
This one is for you. You are amazing. Yet, you have the right to break down Mama. Motherhood does not require perfection. Get a sitter if possible, a bottle of wine, and cry the river you need. Get the therapist you need. If that’s what you need. Carve out an hour a week for you. Don’t cry silently. Scream at the top of your lungs in your car until the alarm goes off. You are appreciated. You are strong. Yet, you are still human. It seems so cliché but this too shall pass. Use the light in your children’s eyes to get through the darkness and use the unconditional love to combat the hate of the world. YOU GOT THIS. He left? His loss. You got fired? Your next move will be your best move. You’re sick? Fight. Do not go down without a fight. You are inspiring. Never for it. Never forget that your body created a human. Only a super hero can accomplish that. Never forget that you can’t pour from an empty cup. Find a way to replenish yourself. Go to yoga. Write a book. Take a class. Start painting. Play the guitar. See a play. Visit a beach. Fight for your happy place because its yours and you deserve it. You got this queen. One step at a time, one day at a time. So today, this one is for you.