Motherhood. Such a heavy word at times. Honestly speaking, most people associate the word with hugs, kisses, bedtime stories, and giggles. Mothers aren’t most people though. We associate the word with the reality of what it entails; sleepless nights, silent cries when we’re alone, public tantrums, and so much more.
Because of this reality we are forced to find space for peace, solitude, and fun even in an environment that is too crowded for that. Miraculously there are those times where a friend, spouse, parent, aunt, or cousin creates space. But it’s weird because during these time where we can go on a date, take a trip, go to the grocery store alone, or take a nap…we miss them. Like really miss them. The same little monsters that force us to scream with our faces buried into pillows make us want to run back to them with open arms. They force us to bring them up in every conversation we have to people who don’t really give a s*** about the cute or funny thing they did last night. We wonder if they’re safe, having fun, lonely, or feel abandoned. We wonder if they ate or what they ate. We miss them.
Then we start to wonder how the mothers that take time and create space ALL the time do it. Like how do you leave them so much? How do you not feel like you’re missing out on something? How do you not worry about them? Maybe it’s because I’m a first time mom. Maybe it’s because my son is only three. Maybe it’s because I’m a sap. I don’t know.
All I know is that I’ve been 716 miles away from my son for two days and it feels like an eternity. Tomorrow I will see his face and reality will hit again when he writes on the wall or throws a fit over a dinner choice that motherhood isn’t all Huggies commercials. Yet, I will be happy knowing God loved me enough to bless me with a chaotic paradise…that I wouldn’t trade for the world. Motherhood.