The alarm clock blared in my ear. Opening my eyes slowly, it was as if I had seen a ghost. Was it really 5:50 a.m. already? How? When I closed my eyes it was 10:30 p.m. Surely, that much time did not pass so quickly. SNOOZE. I opened my eyes again to 6:15 a.m. I just don’t want to “adult” today. I don’t want to involve myself with anything that’s in the same ball park as “responsibility”. I don’t want to shower, I don’t want to brush my teeth, I don’t want to go to work….I don’t want to be grown today.
I mean, come on, I have to do this adult foolery every single day. I’m cooking, cleaning, working, and being mom 24/7. Like even in my d*** sleep. *insert stale faced emoji here* I wake up in a panic most nights thinking “Did I wake him up to pee?” or “Did I lock both of the locks on the door”. Not to mention I have this defective body with an inadequate pancreas that wakes me up to pee every damn hour. SCREW THIS DAY TODAY! Now that I think about it, screw tomorrow too.
I’m going on strike. Like, a legit strike. I’m not exactly sure when this strike will be because I have adult s*** to do but this strike is coming sometime soon. For at least one full day. Here are the things I will be doing when I go on strike.
NOT A GOT DARN THANG! So, when I go on strike don’t ask me to do anything. I’m sure I can find some people to cancel adulting with me for 24 hrs. Don’t be left out when it all goes down.
Sincerely the official,