A friend of mine recently created a blog about unsolicited advice….let that sink in for just two seconds. Her facebook posts prior to the creation of her blog would force me to scream outloud “I KNOWWWW Right?!” regularly. She occassionally mentions all of the “unsolicited” “thanks although I didn’t ask you” advice that people would give when she was getting married from married and non-married couples. WHO ASKED YOU?!
To say that the posts were entertaining was an understatement. It forced me to think about all of the unsolicited advice we get as parents from people who are parents and from those who are not. Let’s be honest, I mind it alot less when people who have children give me advice that I didn’t ask for. But what baffling is when people who do not have children are fudging experts on raising children. Don’t tell me how to handle my child eating crayons until your child has eaten crayons, okay Linda?
Now, don’t get it confused. I’m not saying that if you don’t have children you can’t have empathy. You can. I’m also not saying that if you don’t have children you can come up with some creative way to address children related issues. You can. Many people have nieces and nephews who they helped raised or have extensive schooling on children. Yet, all of those things can’t compare to rearing children (often with sleep deprivation) while trying to manage your own life. That book sh*t goes out the door.
I have managed dealing with the day to day operations fo being a parent. Baths, breakfast, lunch, dinner…gotcha. But who really prepares you for smeared poop on the walls, tantrums in which things get broken, biting, the scissor stage (yeah he cut up everything with the damn safety scissors), utter defiance, the “NO” stage, pissing wherever they please, cursing, and all of that….it simply does not come with a manual.
So the next time you decide to tell a parent what you would do, how they should do, or whats best for their child, think about the fact that it’s their child and today may just be the day they need to let them eat cookies for breakfast with underwear on their heads in their mix match socks.
Until next time